If you’re holding your breath, waiting for your loved one to get sober—believing that when they do, everything will finally be okay—you’re not alone. I used to think the same way. I told myself that if only he would change, then I could finally breathe, relax, and feel safe again.

But what I didn’t realise at the time was that I was putting my own healing on hold. I was waiting for his recovery to lead mine, as if everything depended on him. And when that didn’t happen the way I expected, the resentment, exhaustion, and disappointment hit even harder.

The power of pausing in communication will transform your conversations, particularly in challenging situations like addiction and recovery. Pausing allows for a thoughtful response instead of a reactive one, leading to more aligned and kind behaviour. It promotes active listening, and reduces miscommunication and contributes to building trust and self-regulation. It is so important to not only use the right words in a conversation, but equally knowing when to not have a conversation and the value of silence.