The Power of the Pause - Addiction and Recovery

Communication - it’s essential to living, and it’s something that we can struggle with a lot when we love someone struggling with addiction. Emotions are high, and everything we ‘know’ rationally goes out the window - which makes sense. Something that I bring up a lot in my coaching sessions is this bit of magic: the power of the pause. It's something I use personally (because like you, I am only human), and it can make a huge difference when talking to others. This tool is simple but not easy, and even I have to be intentional about using it sometimes.

When we're in emotionally charged situations, we often react rather than respond. This happens during chaos, crisis, or when we're simply drained. Pausing in a conversation can mean the difference between reacting impulsively and responding thoughtfully.

Pausing is as simple as taking a moment to breathe. This brief pause, even just a second or two, gives you space to decide how you want to respond instead of reacting impulsively. Reacting without pausing can lead to saying or doing unkind things and feeling worse later.

Pausing also promotes active listening. Instead of planning your next response while the other person is talking, pausing allows you to truly hear them, reducing miscommunication and fostering better understanding. This pause can also help give you a moment to regulate your emotions before responding - and in the thick of it, we could all use that.

Living with addiction and its consequences is highly emotional and stressful. Naturally, you might want to jump in, fix things, or express your opinions immediately. There is such a sense of urgency I know. But pausing allows you to check in with yourself first. If you're feeling triggered or highly emotional, taking that breath and pausing can make a big difference. e it stand out

Using The Pause can transform your conversations. It makes your responses more intentional and rational, helps harness patience, and shows respect for the other person.

For example, if your loved one admits to a slip-up in their recovery, pausing before responding can help you handle the situation with more compassion and understanding, building trust over time.

Using The Pause can transform your conversations. It makes your responses more intentional and rational, helps harness patience, and shows respect for the other person. For example, if your loved one admits to a slip-up in their recovery, pausing before responding can help you handle the situation with more compassion and understanding, building trust over time. And you’ll feel better as well!

Practicing The Pause also helps build trust with yourself. You're showing respect for the conversation and trusting that you can handle it. It’s an ongoing process and requires practice, but it can significantly improve how you communicate and make you feel better about your interactions.

Sometimes, not responding immediately or at all can be the best course of action (although not easy!). Letting people be wrong, not taking the bait, or simply ending the conversation can be the kindest thing for both yourself and the other person.

The Pause.

It can make a world of difference in how you show up in conversations and help you feel more in control and aligned. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. It might be challenging at first, especially if you're used to reacting immediately, but it will feel so rewarding when you can do it.

Want to learn more? Listen to Episode 14 on the podcast ‘The Power of the Pause’ as it’s filled with helpful and practical hints and tips to get you using the pause more in your day to day conversations!

Amanda x