To the lovely person who is on the hamster wheel of confusion and catastrophising in a loved ones addiction or problematic behaviour...
Are you ready to overcome your confusion of this foggy nightmare and get your confidence back while tuning into the sound of your own calm voice?
The program for spouses and family members to get you standing confidently in your understanding of what is going on for you AND your loved one. Kicking addiction confusion and chaos to the curb and rising above the external noise in society and step forward in your great life.
Introducing…
If you’re here, there are a few things I already know about you.
I know that you’re exhausted, confused and there is a low hum of anxiety most days. You think or maybe you know your loved one has a problem with a substance of behaviour and you’ve tried yelling, begging, silent treatment, negotiating and pleading for change, and maybe you’ve gone through the pockets, the phone and the laptop and possibly the car too so you can confront them with the ‘evidence’ of this problem they say they don’t have, but you only feel more and more confused, upset and worried about the future as time goes on.
There’s so much conflicting information and ‘advice’ out there, it's confusing and friends and family mean well but don't understand.
It’s Time to Kick Confusion to the Curb!
It's time to stand firmly in your knowing of what is going on for you and start building the foundations of confidence to step forwards in your life.
It’s time to Lead the way for better.
You are trying to work through this chaos and confusion in private, behind closed doors because it doesn’t feel safe to talk to anyone.
You are exhausted wearing all the hats that life requires of you, and you have extra responsibilities on your shoulders because your spouse isn’t doing their part.
You are at your wits end and have zero patience left for your children, and end up yelling at them most days. You are tired.
Work is getting the bare minimum and you are constantly on the proverbial edge with constant worries about what your spouse is doing and what tonight, this weekend, the kids birthday party is going to look like and what they ‘might do’...
You hold your breath… a lot. Just waiting for something to happen, or not happen. You never know what the day is going to look like so you don’t plan things anymore. Not holidays, or dinners out with friends. You can’t remember the last time you had people over…
You feel like a shell of yourself, your confidence is at an all time low and you don’t know what to have for breakfast some days… making even small decisions feels insurmountable - so how could you possibly make bigger decisions if necessary.
You just wait and hope… that something will change. That they will change and things will get better, and you realise how many years you have been waiting and hoping and wonder how many years you can continue to have life on hold.
So maybe you’ve tried…
All the things I've tried, and possibly more!
Before knew better, I was doing the begging, pleading, yelling and detective work and finding that life was getting more chaotic and more out of control.
I had tried every so-called bit of advice and “solutions” in the book and nothing was working… I reached a point where something had to change. And that’s when I began to take control of my life and turn my life in a better direction, for me and my family. And today? I am present in my life, I have drowned out the chaos and noise and can hear my own opinion and voice loud and clear. I am in the drivers seat.
I see you, I know you’ve already done the pleading for them to change, the detective work and trying harder every day to do something that ‘works’, and you are feeling exhausted, confused and stuck.
This is a 3 month coaching program to get you the knowledge, tools and strategies that you need, and the self confidence to take the next right step forward for you.
Bottom Line:
You’re looking for validation and certainty about what is going on in your life and what you can do about it to make it better - for you and your loved one and your family.
This isn’t a magic bullet to bring you overnight change. It’s not “we can’t control it” sit around the fire chat and focus on every single thing that is out of our control. It’s not one size catch all of you must do everything within this framework.
🙅🏻♀️ And no, this program isn’t going to tell you to ‘just focus on you’ or ‘just leave them’, or ‘detach with love’, or other one liner platitudes with no actionable steps.
🙅🏻♀️ And no, this isn’t going to be just another thing on your already full plate - I know how big life is right now and I have made this program to fold into your life.
🙅🏻♀️ And no, this isn’t going to be another program that only delivers results for a bit.. This is building foundations for life and will continue to give back long into the future for years and years to come.
But what it is…
✔️ It is a private place to get support and to breathe - that you aren’t alone here.
✔️ It is a program and framework backed in science, human psychology, research and kindness.
✔️ It is a place to be inspired about what is possible and to learn what is really going on now in your life and what you CAN actually do. Because you can do a lot here, you’ve just been told too many times you’re powerless (and guess how that shows up in your day to day behaviour?)
✔️ It’s a program to get all the tools and strategies in your pocket and the help and cheering on to fold them into your life.
✔️ This program will get you back to fully living life and lay the foundations of confidently mapping out your next smallest steps, whatever they look like, each time you need to step forwards.
I'M AMANDA.
I am possibly not your typical person sitting in this seat of an addiction relationship coach… I was a corporate accountant through and through, I studied 4 years at university and then went on to get my professional certifications. It was while in my corporate career and new Mum(Mom) life that I stumbled into a crazy world, where I was confused more often than not and slowly my life became unrecognisable and unmanageable. But I was ‘smart’ so surely I should be able to figure it out by myself (because I daren’t speak to anyone about it… no way) But I couldn’t figure it out… Whatever I thought would help, or what made sense to me, didn’t help, in fact it sometimes made things worse.
I was at breaking point, and so I reached out for help. And it took years of trial and error, “help” that wasn’t helpful, “help” that was judgement, “help” that felt really ick and shaming, “help” that caused more damage in my relationship… until I finally pieced together what worked and what actually helped.
I know you are a capable and lovely switched on person. I know you care deeply about those around you and I know you want life to be better than what it is now. I’ve been there, and I can help. All my program resources, tools and strategies are founded in kindness and evidenced based practices that are proven to help - I wanted that and I know you do too.
I am here because spouses and families deserve better support. Support that actually helps. And when spouses and families get better support, everyone wins.
Look, I’ve been there. Right where you are.
When I eventually worked out that my loved had a problem it was really confusing, chaotic and exhausting. I spent so many years of time, energy and financial resources trying to ‘fix’ that problem, that I kept saying “no” to myself. Why? Because I was scared. Scared of what it would mean if I got support for myself, scared that it would make it ‘more’ real, that my loved one would ‘find out’ and that getting support for me made me selfish.
And take it from me - it only got worse. It took me reaching a really low point in the rollercoaster of addiction before I recalibrated and took (small) steps forward in getting myself back on tract so that I was better for myself and better for my family - armed with tools and strategies that actually worked.
I don’t want that for you.
It's nearly the end of the scroll, my friend. So it's time to make a decision..
Imagine yourself in three months time, making plans and following through on them… No longer living in a constant state of fear, worry and anxiety, but feeling hopeful for what’s possible. Knowing WHAT to do and actually doing it. Knowing what is helpful and unhelpful.
Imagine living in the reality of what’s going on AND working towards better, for you and your family.
And here’s your friendly reminder (with a hug). You get to choose.
You get to choose the status quo or move towards something better. You are free to continue on as things are now (and I’m guessing if you’ve read this far, you are unhappy with how things are now!) or you can do something different and come and join me for 3 months and work towards that better life that you deserve.
The choice is yours, my friend!
I am ready to stand alongside you and cheer you on, and give you the tools to take the first steps forwards, whatever that looks like
So why not take the leap and book in a friendly chat, and I can recommend the best way for us to work together, in your Pathway to Wellness.
Amanda Xx
What people are saying…
“I took more actionable steps forwards in this three month program than I did in regular therapy over the last several years. The accountability and support was it for me. I am an introvert so wasn’t sure how I’d go, and I loved the small group setting. I’m so glad I did this for myself! It’s only now that I realise how stuck I was and there’s no going back to how I ‘was’ before. Cannot recommend this program more highly! Everyone in this life situation of having a partner with addiction should do this!”
Linda, United States
“I was nervous, but I felt like I could finally breathe again after our first session. There was hope! I was NOT alone in my struggle! These were real women in the the trenches with me.”
Mindy B, United States
“I’m so proud of myself for how far I’ve come. I’m more at peace than I’ve been in a long time and I feel like I’m finding myself again. And I’m so grateful to Amanda for the role she played in helping me get to this point!”
Luna B, United States
“I remember after the very first session feeling relieved, lighter and full of hope - for myself. Amanda has such a beautiful way of looking at things. The support from the other women was amazing and so often they would share things and would literally take the words right out of my mouth. This kick started my life again and I will be forever thankful to Amanda and those beautiful Ladies who walked alongside me”
Jess, United States